Sez, your reflections resonate deeply with me—thank you for sharing these questions.
For me, there are no problems, only challenges. A problem feels static, something heavy demanding resolution. But a challenge invites me to choose—how to engage, whether to engage, and how to be with it.
Your first question, *What is here without me adding a thought to what is here,* reminds me of the quiet strength in mindfulness. When I step back and refrain from labeling or solving, I’ve noticed that challenges often shift or dissolve on their own—not through avoidance but through a kind of spacious non-engagement.
Your second question, *What is here when here is not a problem to solve,* aligns closely with how I approach the outcomes of my choices. I see every interaction as holding two parts: 50% comes from how I am with something—my mindset, my energy, my presence. That is the part I can fully control. The other 50%, the part I cannot control, comes from the external world—how others respond, how circumstances unfold.
By focusing on my 50%, I’ve realized that even non-engagement becomes a form of mindful action. Choosing not to engage doesn’t mean ignoring; sometimes, it means creating space for the challenge to resolve itself or for time to do its work.
Paul Watzlawick said, *You cannot not communicate,* and I feel similarly about engagement. Even silence or stillness sends ripples into the world. How I meet a challenge, or choose not to meet it, shapes the outcome of my 50%.
Your reflections invite simplicity and remind me that reality itself is not inherently a problem. It’s often my resistance or attachment to outcomes that creates struggle. Thank you for this reminder—it’s a beautiful gift to pause and reflect with these questions.
"By focusing on my 50%, I’ve realized that even non-engagement becomes a form of mindful action." I absolutely love this Jay. Surrendering to what we have no control over allows us to meet the world from our most powerful position. Thank you for taking the time to reflect and for being such a presence in this space over this past year. Have a wonderful day.
Thank you for your kind words and for creating such a reflective space this past year. Your emphasis on surrender as a source of strength is a powerful reminder of how we can meet challenges with grace and presence. I’ve found great inspiration in the clarity and depth of your reflections, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to engage with your thought-provoking questions. Wishing you a restorative day, and I look forward to the continued exchange of ideas in the new year.
that your life should unfold according to your plans.'
It was quite a shocker to me to find out that it was my perception that was causing my dissatisfaction with life. I had never really ponded what my part was in the struggles of life. When it was pointed out to me that in every situation where I was playing the victim or holding a resentment, that I was responsible for harboring those feelings. I had a part. And my part was looking at things from the perspective of my ego. That little part of me that wants me to believe that I am separate from the larger whole.
I still sometimes feel separate, resentful, victimized....but I now come back home to my heart of hearts that is consciousness itself.
Blessings for this moment without judgement........
This is divine, Noel, a true testament to your courage. Because not everyone wants to see the truth, and fewer want to see the part they are playing in concealing it. But as you have probably discovered, this willingness to see clearly is freedom, true freedom. I'm so grateful to share this heartfelt knowing with you and wish you all the best in this seeming ending of the year :)
*What is here, that isn’t a problem to be solved? It’s becoming easier to accept and embrace the aspects of life outside of me that I can’t control, but it’s the stuff inside of me, that I think I need to tame and control—those are still here. My humanness—anxieties, insecurity, envy, restlessness, etc. I’m breathing deep to not try to fix, to listen and feel with less judgment.
And when I realize I’m not a problem to be solved-light seeps in. My muscles relax. I laugh more. I let go of more. I enjoy smaller things. I start to enjoy just being here.
I have immense gratitude for you for filling my 2024 with many “aha” moments. There have been so many wise and enlightened messages I have received from you and this community here that have helped me navigate away from my self created suffering. There are too many “aha” moments to mention here, but I will say that calling “my OCD” something else like “my daffodils” makes it so much softer and freeing. Like I just got off the label train that has no windows riding with the mainstream way to “fix this disfunction”.
I love the description Jay used “spacious non-engagement” .
Many blessings to you and everyone on this path to waking up.
Good morning, everyone...as I read the comments, I cannot help but feel grateful for each and every one of you and for Sez whose depth is profound and touches my very soul.
I just returned from spending Christmas with all 4 of my daughters, a very rare few days when we could all be together. The feeling of sadness and aloneness feels overwhelming as I write this...I have identified as their mother for 33 years and being with them feels a lot like going "home", I feel anchored, even if only temporarily...this feels distinctly like a "problem" to me...
As I read Sez's reflections, I started to wonder, "why do I create this situation in my head?" Why does reality never feel like quite enough? I desperately want to be the type of person who lives in and enjoys each moment without the "story" that always goes with my sadness in any given moment...how though? Does it just take time and reflection? Does my connection with these 4 human beings have to be either joyous or painful in absence? My life never seems quite complete without their presence and I do not know how to change this...
Sez, your reflections resonate deeply with me—thank you for sharing these questions.
For me, there are no problems, only challenges. A problem feels static, something heavy demanding resolution. But a challenge invites me to choose—how to engage, whether to engage, and how to be with it.
Your first question, *What is here without me adding a thought to what is here,* reminds me of the quiet strength in mindfulness. When I step back and refrain from labeling or solving, I’ve noticed that challenges often shift or dissolve on their own—not through avoidance but through a kind of spacious non-engagement.
Your second question, *What is here when here is not a problem to solve,* aligns closely with how I approach the outcomes of my choices. I see every interaction as holding two parts: 50% comes from how I am with something—my mindset, my energy, my presence. That is the part I can fully control. The other 50%, the part I cannot control, comes from the external world—how others respond, how circumstances unfold.
By focusing on my 50%, I’ve realized that even non-engagement becomes a form of mindful action. Choosing not to engage doesn’t mean ignoring; sometimes, it means creating space for the challenge to resolve itself or for time to do its work.
Paul Watzlawick said, *You cannot not communicate,* and I feel similarly about engagement. Even silence or stillness sends ripples into the world. How I meet a challenge, or choose not to meet it, shapes the outcome of my 50%.
Your reflections invite simplicity and remind me that reality itself is not inherently a problem. It’s often my resistance or attachment to outcomes that creates struggle. Thank you for this reminder—it’s a beautiful gift to pause and reflect with these questions.
Wishing you peaceful moments this holiday season,
Jay 💚
"By focusing on my 50%, I’ve realized that even non-engagement becomes a form of mindful action." I absolutely love this Jay. Surrendering to what we have no control over allows us to meet the world from our most powerful position. Thank you for taking the time to reflect and for being such a presence in this space over this past year. Have a wonderful day.
Thank you for your kind words and for creating such a reflective space this past year. Your emphasis on surrender as a source of strength is a powerful reminder of how we can meet challenges with grace and presence. I’ve found great inspiration in the clarity and depth of your reflections, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to engage with your thought-provoking questions. Wishing you a restorative day, and I look forward to the continued exchange of ideas in the new year.
Beautifully said, Jay. 🙏🏼✨
Dorothy Hunt writes,
"Peace is this moment without judgment.
That is all. This moment in the Heart-space
where everything that is is welcome.
Peace is this moment without thinking
that it should be some other way,
that you should feel some other thing,
that your life should unfold according to your plans.'
It was quite a shocker to me to find out that it was my perception that was causing my dissatisfaction with life. I had never really ponded what my part was in the struggles of life. When it was pointed out to me that in every situation where I was playing the victim or holding a resentment, that I was responsible for harboring those feelings. I had a part. And my part was looking at things from the perspective of my ego. That little part of me that wants me to believe that I am separate from the larger whole.
I still sometimes feel separate, resentful, victimized....but I now come back home to my heart of hearts that is consciousness itself.
Blessings for this moment without judgement........
Noel
This is divine, Noel, a true testament to your courage. Because not everyone wants to see the truth, and fewer want to see the part they are playing in concealing it. But as you have probably discovered, this willingness to see clearly is freedom, true freedom. I'm so grateful to share this heartfelt knowing with you and wish you all the best in this seeming ending of the year :)
*What is here, that isn’t a problem to be solved? It’s becoming easier to accept and embrace the aspects of life outside of me that I can’t control, but it’s the stuff inside of me, that I think I need to tame and control—those are still here. My humanness—anxieties, insecurity, envy, restlessness, etc. I’m breathing deep to not try to fix, to listen and feel with less judgment.
And when I realize I’m not a problem to be solved-light seeps in. My muscles relax. I laugh more. I let go of more. I enjoy smaller things. I start to enjoy just being here.
Dear Sez,
I have immense gratitude for you for filling my 2024 with many “aha” moments. There have been so many wise and enlightened messages I have received from you and this community here that have helped me navigate away from my self created suffering. There are too many “aha” moments to mention here, but I will say that calling “my OCD” something else like “my daffodils” makes it so much softer and freeing. Like I just got off the label train that has no windows riding with the mainstream way to “fix this disfunction”.
I love the description Jay used “spacious non-engagement” .
Many blessings to you and everyone on this path to waking up.
Much love ❤️
Good morning, everyone...as I read the comments, I cannot help but feel grateful for each and every one of you and for Sez whose depth is profound and touches my very soul.
I just returned from spending Christmas with all 4 of my daughters, a very rare few days when we could all be together. The feeling of sadness and aloneness feels overwhelming as I write this...I have identified as their mother for 33 years and being with them feels a lot like going "home", I feel anchored, even if only temporarily...this feels distinctly like a "problem" to me...
As I read Sez's reflections, I started to wonder, "why do I create this situation in my head?" Why does reality never feel like quite enough? I desperately want to be the type of person who lives in and enjoys each moment without the "story" that always goes with my sadness in any given moment...how though? Does it just take time and reflection? Does my connection with these 4 human beings have to be either joyous or painful in absence? My life never seems quite complete without their presence and I do not know how to change this...
Any thoughts would be so appreciated?