This month's Soul Story with Sez
(Serving Suggestion: listen to this newsletter outside, preferably alone or with a furry friend, and with s cup of your favourite brew)
Dearest You,
I recently took a trip to Byron Bay, Australia’s ‘spiritual capital’. In my 20’s I spent much time there contributing to the free-spirited vibe of what felt like my soul’s home. I knew before my most recent trip that things had changed in the 12 years of my absence, but I know this is the way the world works – we can’t stop beautiful places from being inhabited by new generations who ultimately become its custodians.
I rented a place right in the center of town and noticed from my window, an old man sitting on his front porch right beside the main road. At 10 am sharp every day, he opened a beer can and sat down on his rigid steel stool to watch the world go by.
Crowds of holidaymakers, partygoers, and dog walkers passed his porch by the minute, and the steady stream of traffic kept him seemingly occupied for hours. Only once did I see a couple stop to speak to him, to which he leapt out of his seat and began pointing in all directions. By 4 pm, he would go inside again and only reemerge the next morning at 10 am.
I wondered what his story was, so took a walk around the block to casually asked him for directions. His ripped tie-dye t-shirt was hung by his coat hanger of a body and he leapt up from his stool the way a jack in the box would from its box. As he wavered a little to either side, I asked if it would be ok to ask him a few questions, to which he welcomed.
He told me that he came to Byron 30 years ago and never left. He just loved the vibe so much and all the free-spirited people who used to live here. He found that the town’s newcomers, mostly young influencers, entrepreneurs and travellers were mostly shallow and uninterested in keeping the place sacred, and that’s why he stayed; to keep the spirit of the place alive. Although he had thought of moving a few times, he was faced with many challenges that curtailed his plans, such as his wife and kids leaving him, or his diagnosis which made him dependent on the nearby hospital.
Without prompt, he reflected for a moment on his life and told me that he had survived it, not only was he one of the last remaining Byroners from the original time, but he had lived through all life’s barriers…his still-beating heart was evidence of his endurance.
I thanked him for his time and walked on as he reluctantly found the dent in the chair that held him in place.
This isn’t a story about how Byron has changed, nor about an old man stuck in his own deep rivets – it’s a story about you and me, and how we choose to evolve.
In high school, I was voted ‘most likely to land up owning a beach bar in Goa’. At the time, I remember thinking, well at least I own the place…
If I hadn’t healed, relocated to a more inward residence…if I hadn’t learned how to balance my deep desires with my responsibilities – if I didn’t fuse every crisis with a guiding purpose, if I hadn’t finally become sober, if I made all my decisions black and white - then my high school prophecy would most likely have come true. And not that owning a bar in Goa is a problem, but that it reflected a part of me who wanted to escape life. I have little doubt right now that I’d have become an extremist who would claim to be living her most free-spirited life in accordance with her authentic self – but not know the truth that Spirit longs to evolve.
That’s the problem with authenticity, it can become conformity after a while, especially when we lose our ability to grow with the change that seeks us.
Something that has become more important in my life than authenticity is truth.
Truth is always something that contradicts itself, unlike delusion which tends to be incredibly black-and-white, binary, and unyielding.
Truth will say that only certain places are sacred and everywhere is sacred. Or that our jobs matter and they don’t, or that we need more in order to be happy and we don’t. Truth is a doorframe to which both sides are equally true, whereas delusion tells us only certain places matter, only certain things will make us happy, or only a particular practice will set us free.
Whatever contradictions we find in our life cup the contents of truth. Whatever we believe to be certain about life is like trying to hold water with spread-out fingers.
Life is quite wise. It keeps sending us messages to grow and make space for a bigger, double-sided truth. And rather than this duality fracturing us, it makes us profoundly whole.
Like the old man who endured life without change, we tend to walk our solid path until a huge lake appears. We barely make it across, only to dry ourselves off and keep walking that same path…until we meet a cliff edge, and after falling terribly from it, we brush ourselves off and set off in search that same path on the other side of the gorge just so we can carry on going, never realizing that these forces of nature are trying to help us discover a new path. This is what the spirit calls evolution.
And we are sent a depression, a crisis, a loss as a sacred reminder to gather our tools and change our path.
At the end of life, those who never make meaningfulness and movement out of those challenging hints the universe repeatedly sent them, tend to say they survived life, they endured it and the fact they are still alive is a testament of some kind.
But those who used every lake and cliff edge to remind themselves to change what they were doing, how they were walking, or the direction that set for themselves will reflect on life as being one of great adventure; one whose stories are living testaments of its quality, no matter its length.
We cannot keep things sacred by simply denying change.
We cannot believe there is only one way to go if we are to know Truth. And we are not here to survive the length of our lives. We are here to live deeply, simply, assigning purpose to that which overwhelms us. This is how we grow, and this, dear friends, this is how we become whole.
Every Monday, I share a new meditation that helps us start the week from a grounded, connected, still space within. This has become a wonderful way to share my more personal journey with like-hearted souls and empower the idea of seeking less externally by remembering we are the medicine we seek. Join hundreds of us who are devoting a little time every Monday to the art of coming home to our wholeness.
This really has me thinking, looking differently at my current challenges, new glasses so to speak. Your words not only help me see me differently but I may understand others reactions to change with more compassion. I am surrounded predominantly by ‘survivors’ and now I see a choice in how I make meaning of my life. Thank you for such a fine gift🌹
Definitely Food For Thought. I've had careers, married, had children which are grown now, and now "retired". Through all those journeys I've been Holistic and always seeking knowledge for inner growth, whether it was from Prophet's, many inspiring books, Meditation,Yoga,Fierce exhausting workouts or being with nature. And now I find myself at a cross road. Loving who I've grownup to be, yet still seeking. Wondering if I need a purpose, do I "share my light", or do I just rest and enjoy the moments. Lots of layers, a lot to ponder.