When we truly value our peace, we find ourselves at home in the very protest of life without ever having to surrender our love for it.
Friend of mine,
We are all haberdasheries.
We are full of pins, buttons, and fasteners that work with the fabric of the universe. We mend and hem, stitch and seam, all according to patterns we have gathered along the way.
It has taken me a lifetime to find my own style of lifemaking. And, now that the white chalk is in my hands, I will not bargain it away for the convenience of sewing machines and block patterns.
Are we not all apprentices to the ultimate tailor that is Mystery?
This life I dress myself in every morning is vastly different from the one I used to shoehorn myself into. I barely believe it some days. Someone will catch me, I’m sure of it. They’ll drag me back to the city, the office, the boardroom; my collar in one hand and scraps of poetry in the other…and I will sheepishly apologise for trying to escape, again.
We are audacious for wanting to step away from what is ‘good, safe and certain’ for us, aren’t we? We shouldn’t have so much freedom. And a mother of young kids such as myself surely shouldn’t spend so much time healing.
Like all of us here, I am responsible for keeping the layers of my life intact. It’s quite the patchwork. Sometimes personal desire needs to be hemmed so it better fits the family. Sometimes freedom becomes frayed from rubbing against too much certainty. And sometimes I spend too much time wondering how to bedazzle everything without losing the raw quality of life as a whole.
One thing I am acutely aware of as a parent is that I am accountable for the time another will spend mending themself.
But unlike before, everything revolves around a stillness I now refuse to ever bargain away again.
If it doesn’t eat peace, it doesn’t get a seat at the table
Much of how we live conflicts with our intrinsic peace, doesn’t it? Especially if we are highly sensitive and have to go against our body’s wisdom for the sake of achievement, praise or the promise of belonging.
For many years, I gave my peace away for a better income but became severely aged by stress (and not by the weather, as I prefer.) I didn’t suit the indoors, the subtle degradation, or the cheap filter coffee (and I still believe they added sedatives to the mochaccino.)
Peace doesn’t stay for long when it is not valued
And does our culture value it? Does our work regard it? Do our relationships honor it? Do our own thoughts, emotions and actions support it? It’s like everything outside of us is set up to keep us distracted from the one thing we ache for most.
I suppose I am a little zealous these days. But if something doesn’t align with peace, it no longer has value. I’ve become quite the warden of this inner refuge. I’m convinced that age has made me intolerable of all I used to tolerate.
So much falls away when we give peace priority in our lives.
A life of peace and ease doesn’t come to us from the outside, nor from reorganising our life to accommodate it – it belongs to us. It’s already a part of us and the foundation of who we are. We just need to remove what’s covering it up, and most importantly, remove what is devaluing it through all the ways we substitute for its absence.
Because numbness can taste like peace. In fact, it's our greatest surrogate.
The wonderfully encouraging thing is that it's very easy to keep a life of peace once we rediscover it - because naturally, not many things fit back into it afterwards.
So, how do we dig down into ourselves and pass the noise in order to find our innate sense of peace?
We find wellsprings that connect us to our unconditional Self. These are nourishing taproot qualities that burrow through even our toughest emotions, beliefs and habits. They are gratitude, surrender, and love. These qualities are not peace themselves - but they are direct channels into the very heart of our unfettered quietude.
Let’s take a moment to settle into the peace that we are, assuring ourselves that we need not seek it outside of ourselves. This self-trust we are building here through seeking less externally is not only healing but ultimately, empowering.
Listen to the affirmation meditation in the above recording and journey into the well of peace with me through gratitude, surrender and love.
