Jun 17, 2022 • 19M

The loss of your essential Self

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Sez Kristiansen
Remember your wild and intrinsic Wholeness through meditation, poetry & nature-based metaphor. Pledge your support and receive all the audios and the Wild Heart patron thread every week.
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The other night, I walked to the beach to watch the big orb of a moon rise over the gently ebbing tide.

How to witness such a thing of beauty without losing your sight?

How to use such a creative muse without falling madly in love with Her?

I am rather fond of the moon, our celestial body. She is a reminder to me of all that is worth pursuing in life - slowness, renewal, reflection, pull, mystery.

She also happens to be my accountability buddy in staying true to who I am.

I often walk up to the headland by our house to watch the moon rise. It sometimes coincides with the sunset and I always seem to find myself turned towards the ocean where the cosmic pearl rises while everyone else faces the land where the sun lays her last rays to rest.

Some of us are deeply called to these rituals in nature as a reminder of how to let go and of how to start again - and why they are both part of the same process.

I was inspired to write a meditative piece about how to return to our essential Self. The loss of connection with the very core of our authenticity can be felt as a deep disconnection between mind and body. Our essential Self acts like the metronome that keeps our mind and heart ticking in synchronicity.  

Through my own relationship with anxiety, I can feel a story running beneath my skin that isn’t quite my own. Yet, I have lived it for many years and therefore it has become a part of who I believe myself to be. This is what I am on a path towards re-storying, making sure I weave that more potent and essential part of me into everything I do.

We can go for years without feeling integrated and not know that this divide is what’s causing us so much ache. But the Heart remembers…the mind remembers - they feel the loss deeply and send us all kinds of signs to slow us down and take stock of what’s gone missing in action.

We give up our essence easier than anything else. Because that’s what our over-culture values the least. To retrieve it, therefore, is really to be quite rebellious and possibly a lot less obedient than we are used to. We must face whichever side of the headland calls to us, rather than contort our bodies unnaturally to what others are looking at…

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