Dear Beloved Community,
I would like to first thank all those who are paid subscribers here. It is because of you that I am able to continue to write, record, edit, and post these audios. It is extensive work - like gold mining the depths of your soul and shaping what you find into a tiny trinket that might fashion a fellow jewelry lover. Because of your support, I am here, eager to share with you my experiences and hear about your own. So thank you, thank you.
This weekend, I booked myself a tiny, rudimentary cabin on the top of a plateau overlooking the Blue Mountains. It was my first trip away from my young family alone and hundreds of kilometers away from the home we’ve set up here in Austrllia. I packed as if I were headed on an expedition to Mars…
It took a few hours to drive and I arrived late in the evening, so went straight to sleep, making sure my alarm was set for sunrise.
I had planned to write. And be alone. And feed myself with heavy scoops of sweet, sweet nature. Some of the valleys around New South Wales are completely untouched by human hand - which these days, is a rarity - and I wondered how it would feel to gaze over a landscape unchanged since the dawn of time.
As I woke on the first morning to rays of sun hitting the cabin window, I rushed out with a hot cup of coffee to a viewing spot, 1 km away, that apparently had the best view of the mountains in the area.
But as I got there, I discovered it was no secret. About 50 other people were there too - some in feather boas cupping baby bumps, having celebratory photos taken of their own rising, round belies as the sun birthed over the horizon - others were newlyweds bedazzled in white dresses and floral shirts kissing each other as the mountains lit them up with promises of forever. Influencers aplenty in tight Lululemons teetering precariously off the edges of rocks, coffee cups in hand, styling sun salutations against the beaming golden glow.
I turned away to make my way back down the track when a young man holding a vintage Rolleiflex camera stopped me - and let me in on a secret…
“If you want some peace - all you have to do is go anywhere that takes at least 15 minutes from the car park to walk to…” With a laugh, he jumped in his old beaten-up land rover and sped off in a dust cloud.
That’s all it takes - 15 minutes of effort and I could be somewhere a little more wild, less populated, more me?
So I looked at the map that I had bought at a conservation center just off the highway (after having a Bear Gryills moment where I wondered what I’d do if my phone’s Sat Nav didn’t work) and took off to a nearby waterfall that promised a 5-hour advanced walk down 600 feet of cascading steps, with ladders and caves. As I ventured down from the car park, the cafe lattes, flip flops, and unforgiving biker shorts thinned out, and right at the very bottom, away from the thick layer of hiking enthusiasts, I found - me. Alone. With the exact nature I had been searching for.
I would love to say that it was in that moment, I felt inspired, whole, energized, and ready to dictate all the wonderful memories of being in untouched nature onto my phone - but it was not the case…
I felt disconnected. In the one place I tend to feel most at home.
I touched moss, ran my hand across old rock formations, dipped my feet in the strong current, listened intently to the echo of birds above…but I was too far gone.
Sometimes, there’s just too much head in these bodies for the Heart to do its work - and even in the most beautiful places, we can feel that paradoxical feeling of being orphaned by Mother Nature.
That is what I learned this weekend - and the fact 15-minutes of walking seems to separate us as humans.
This episode is about the paradox we all feel at times. It made me wonder how we are ever going to ‘save the earth’ when we see it as something as separate from us and so I wrote a piece that embodies Divine connection, for me. Mixed with poetic story about the Great Mother and with Animistic threads, I hope you come on this soundscape journey with me into connecting with what is most vital in ourselves and on this earth.
Take care and be well,
Sez
Quotes you might want to take with you:
“…Your disconnect is a sign of connection - it is your great yearning to return to your truer Self. Remember who you are, not among people but among your wiser and kinder kin.”
“Anything held softly, with devotion, grows, the great mother reminds us. may that be true for your heart, your presence, your memory of this earth, this love for our living relatives with eyes as stars, and bodies as riverbeds and wild lavender.”
“Allow the earth to yawn open and devour you whole or salt to carry your body across its foamy shoulders and rest in the knowing that you are being cared for. Your body will be balmed in honey and butter will be dripped over your heart, tobacco, and cornflour cast at your feet, the crown of your head wrapped in laurels and red powder blown across your face. And as you make sacred of nature, so does she make sacred of you. Reciprocity.”
Remembering the wisdom of disconnection