A poem for you
When you need to remember why you're here.
There’s a version of me I often think of, and she saves me. I am a teenager leaning against a dry stone wall covered in moss that clings to the face of a blustering Yorkshire Moor, writing on a thick pad of lined paper with nothing but a school biro and a head full of seeds, and all I have is the swift and the thrush as an audience; followed by a brethren of bird. And when I forget why - I remember who; I remember that girl who would write anyway, because she must, because she couldn’t afford to lose another moment to an unwritten world, else her heart would burst from its loam. I remember there’s much truth in a pen when no one is looking, and much sincerity in a word allowed to linger on the wind before being slowly tethered to a p a g e. And I am saved by the fact that if I were not here at this desk, I’d be wandering in the fields, in the bogs and among the heath scattering words like dandelion bristles to anything that will have them.
A question for you today:
What version of you from the past, saves you (or inspires you to keep going / reminds you of why you took that chance / encourages you to reflect on what’s most important?)
Once again your words and prompts take me within. Thank you!
What version of me from the past, saves me (or inspires me to keep going / reminds me of why I took that chance?
I whisper these questions in a soft voice my heart can hear.
A flood of memories emerge, not of an age or time, yet of feelings.
Playing in dirt, the taste of melting toffee on my tongue, riding a bike, the sound of my cat purring his head beside me as I sleep, alone in a big city, driving by myself for the first time.
I recognize as I write the feelings of excitement/nervousness, I have often felt while alone. And I have kept going, kept playing, kept riding despite the voices around me saying stop, be careful, creating worry in my head. My body has always known. I can do it, in my own way, I can take the chance. I have a lifetime of feelings to remind me I can.
Thank you for the reminder and the acknowledgment to this life time of feelings.
I am grateful.
This one felt especially important, in a life stage where things are shifting and remembering who I am amidst all that.
I also have so many “snapshot” memories - and initially the ones that popped up were the ones that were tied to what others needed me to be..the version of me that achieved and pleased—and helped—in order to survive.
But then I start to remember moments.. of pure presence that required nothing of me. All the stages of “being” myself with sweet, young humans and adorable animals. Being the go-to lap for our family dogs, the babysitter for our whole neighborhood. Mothering my own kids (especially when they were young), and a career of supporting and advocating for children. A safe place, an easy, comfortable, open place for the vulnerable—to be vulnerable. That’s still who I am.. and why I’m here.