We were born to bear both.
And although we feel it would be easier, safer, to just carry one emotion, it is impossible. For in the deepest part of love, there already lives a grief its loss.
Every emotion is manifested as a whole, with its polarity intact. And although we’ve been taught to fill our lives with only one, it’s the splitting of polarities from each other that aches us. It’s the wanting one without the other that makes us forget the completeness of who we are.
When we truly know and accept this, space inside grows. The scale returns to balance. The eternal tide turns. Magic and horror, sadness and hope, loss and renewal: they all spring from within each other, like a fountain who knows not the difference between rain and well water.
We were never supposed to know where the grief begins, or the love ends. They were never meant to be two.
Those of us who are yet to know the truth of ourselves will call this overlapping messy and often make binary decisions to feel sane - but to those of us who have touched the riverbed of who we are, know this as being fully human and fully soul, and surrender to the sanity of living as close to that invisible edge as possible.
The truth is that even calling it an edge is inaccurate, for the line that separates the two cannot be found in the body.
Do you still feel that knowing deep inside you? That you were born in the borderlands, made to roam the meeting point between good and bad, god and human, miracle and trauma as if they were not narrow tracks but vast grasslands.
It’s a peace to dwell here where we are not separated from the rest of the world through ideas that we are either healing or we are still wounded.
But we only ever want the healing, do we not? Is it not so that we equate wholeness with its lack of holes?
I have found it not to be so.
